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Sex after Childbirth

Two mothers and a father tell us what it was like to have sex for the very first time after childbirth.

Since there had been many changes in the abdomen of a woman (25) after giving birth to a daughter, she could not even bear the thought of having sex until five months after childbirth.

- I was bleeding for seven weeks. There wasn't much blood in the end, but it was enough to make it feel uncomfortable, she says.

Sex after Childbirth

The abdomen after childbirth

One day when she was in the shower after the bleeding had stopped, she decided to check if it felt different in the vagina.

- I put a finger in to see if the delivery had done any harm. I was afraid it would feel very abnormal and became very over-analyzing.

She had heard different stories about what it was like to have sex after childbirth. Everything from the fact that it could make a huge pain to you to bleed afterwards and to make the abdomen feel softer. Visit Bestaah for quality and affordable maternity bags.

- I was excited about what it would be like for me because I didn't recognize myself in the body I had been given. I was very worried about how it would feel to my partner. To me it seemed as if there was nothing that touched my finger.

Talk about sex

From day one she has been open to cohabitation about all her worries and he has been understanding and patient with her. She is grateful for that.

- I was very nervous and we tried to talk and joke to it with the will to get me to relax. It helped a lot and made it easier for us to talk about it afterwards. He didn't understand what I was so afraid of and said it was just like before.

Milk from the breasts

There was a lot going on both during and after the intercourse that neither she nor the cohabitant were aware of.

- It suddenly started to leak milk and we didn't even know what was happening. It just got very comical. It is not directly something that usually happens.

The mucous membranes were also more sensitive than before.

- I started bleeding afterwards. Nor was I prepared to have urethra. When I kissed it felt like the urethra would fall out. I got really scared. It happened every time after intercourse at the beginning.

The midwife reassured her that this was perfectly normal and that it would withdraw as well. And it did that a month and a half later. It took a year before she felt that her body was back to normal again.

- I felt very abnormal. For many of the people I talked to, it only took six months. I think it is important to know that it takes longer for some than for others.

Afraid to have sex

Only six months after the woman (25) had given birth to a little boy was she ready to have sex again.

- Since I had recently squeezed a child out of there, I felt that place belonged to him, which is probably why it took so long before I got ready for it, she says.

The son was born with his face up. The birth therefore became extra long and difficult, and it ended with her having to be cut. The new mother was afraid it would hurt her scar.

- I had heard that it could be so, but fortunately it did not. I've been good at doing squat exercises to tighten the abdomen again. I feel that I have helped a lot.

The body after childbirth

In advance, she was nervous and worried, and wished someone had told her there was nothing to be afraid of.

- I was still breastfeeding and was afraid, for example, that it would start to leak milk in the meantime. My partner was prepared for this to happen, but fortunately it didn't.

She was afraid that he would think that her abdomen looked different and that the vagina had expanded so that he would not feel as much as before.

- I was also concerned about whether I had as good fitness as before, and if I could manage as long as before during sex.

Newborn baby

The 25-year-old didn't feel it was such a difference to have sex before and after childbirth, except to find time for it with a small baby in tow.

- It was important for me not to do it before I felt that I was fully ready for it. But one challenge was that we had to do it when the baby was asleep, and be very quiet so he didn't wake up because he was lying next to my bed. It was a bit uncomfortable to do it so close to my son, but that is perfectly normal.

It is important to prioritize the children

Husband (38) and wife (37) were really ready to have six shortly after birth, but chose to wait until after the six-week check to be on the safe side.

- I had imagined it would be more problematic and that I needed to be more careful, but for us it went well, he says.

Finding time for it now that they had a baby that needed attention all the time was the biggest challenge for them.

- I have friends who breastfeed while having sex to make time for it. Fortunately, we have avoided that, but children are very arrhythmic in the beginning. You never know when they wake up.

- When she finally fell asleep and we thought we would, we often just got started then she woke up. It is difficult to start over again afterwards and it could happen again and again. Children have a sixth sense about feeling when parents should get it.

Take advantage of the couple relationship

After becoming parents, they realized that the romantic moments of candles, calm music and massage had to wait until the first toddler phase was over.

- It is very important to take advantage of the sex life during this period and to feel that you love each other physically and mentally. A few times you have to make room for it, and say okay now the baby is sleeping in the bedroom so then we simply have to do this on the kitchen table, then we can only wash it afterwards.

Milk Leakage

That it could leak milk from Sambon's breasts during intercourse, the new father was not ready.

- If she sits on top of you, it can drip down your face. We just smiled and laughed. It's not exactly when you need to stop and excuse me, but now that milk is dripping in my face you can be nice and dress up. You can't do that. You can tolerate a little milk. Sex is always a little pesky and it just leads to even more mess.

He advises new fathers to remember that breasts have a different function now than before.

- She may say quickly, don't touch my breasts, even though it's been okay before. You just have to live with it and realize that it will be so in the future, but it goes over.

Dad at birth

After being part of the birth, he is impressed with what the women's body can do.

- Seeing a child being born does not change the desire for the woman for that reason. There are some who worry. Does he want to have sex with me after seeing that I gave birth to a baby through the vagina? To me it was more impressive than scary.

Six weeks after the birth

Most people want to wait until the bleeding after the birth is over, but if you want intercourse before then, midwife Cecilia Kleven recommends that you use a condom because of the risk of infection.

It is individual when couples feel ready to take up the sex life after giving birth and it is the woman who decides the time. The vast majority of people we meet have been waiting for post-screening, which is recommended about six to eight weeks after childbirth, says Kleven at the Oslo midwife and women's center .

- Use a lot of lubricant

On the after-check at the Oslo midwife and women's center, you will see, among other things, the abdomen, control of squat exercises and what may have been sewn. You also get help with contraceptives that are important to have when resuming sex.

- At birth many women get drier and more bleeding mucous membranes in the genital area. This can be perceived as unpleasant and it is recommended to be generous with lubricant, says Kleven.

Reduced sexual desire

She says that some people feel that the pelvic floor is not as strong as it was before pregnancy and if you are stitched it can be both harder and tighter in that area.

- This gets better with time. Fatigue and breastfeeding are other reasons why sex is not as tempting. For some, prolactin secreted during breastfeeding can also inhibit sex drive, says Kleven.

Tips for new parents

  • Wait until you are ready for it yourself and do not let yourself be pressured by either your partner or your girlfriends.
  • If you are very nervous it might be wise to talk with your partner in advance. In the meantime, tell me if it's something that hurts or feels uncomfortable.
  • Take good care of yourself and remember that love for one another can be shown in ways other than common intercourse.
  • Create time for each other so that the children are not in focus all the time. Some dads may find it hard not to get attention.
  • Remember that there are a lot of hormones in her body and there may be periods when she is not as interested or too tired due to night waking. Then you just realize that it is right now and that it will be better.

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